I swear I must have half my brain tied behind my back.   Rush Limbaugh seems to function quite well like that, but I need my whole brain — and then some.

As I relate this tale, you have to remember that I’ve only had my Jeep for about nine months.  In all that time I’ve never opened it with my key; I always use the little electronic thing on my keychain.  Well, two days ago it rained, and then it snowed and it got really cold at night.  I awoke the next  morning and even in the dark the car was clearly covered with  snow.  About six o’clock I decided to clean off the snow and warm the car up, planning to attend 7 AM mass.

The door was frozen shut!  The door on the passenger side was also frozen shut!  What to do?  I’ve heard about sprays that will de-freeze the lock but didn’t have one of those.  Google is the answer!   The best idea I got from Google was to heat my key and insert it into the lock.   Doesn’t that sound clever?  So – out to the car  – still dark – with key and cigarette lighter in hand.  Believe it or not, I didn’t know where the keyhole was, having never used it.  It turns out to be some six inches below the doorlatch.  It was then I realized the problem wasn’t with the keyhole  but with the latch.   It was somehow frozen so I couldn’t push in the button.   That was quickly solved by pouring hot water on it.  Free at last!

During mass I pondered the situation and decided that next time this problem occurred I would put my neck warmer in the microwave and de-thaw that way.   Solved — I thought.

The latch was frozen again after mass.  A nice man with stronger thumbs than mine pushed on the latch button and opened the door for me.

This morning – 6:30 AM – the latches on both the driver and passenger sides are  frozen again.   I used the warm water solution to defrost the latch,  got on my way, but stopped at the mailbox to mail a letter.  Again, when I tried to get back into the car, the driver’s door was frozen shut.  Fortunately, this time the latch on the passenger side worked and I got in, then tried to wiggle into the driver’s seat.   I just couldn’t manage it with the seat so far forward, the steering wheel up close,  all that console stuff in the middle, and my hips not as flexible as in days or yore. But I could unlatch the door from inside and, once more, I was on my way.

I thought about the problem  during mass this morning.    I am almost ashamed to admit it, but light has dawned.   My old Oldsmobile was a two-door car.  BUT  MY JEEP HAS FOUR DOORS!  Glory Hallelujah!  Once again  after mass the latch on the driver’s door was frozen but the other three doors opened readily.

Much ado about nothing!   Will I be too mortified to publish this idiocy?   Probably not.   That’s how it all happened.

Lord, have mercy.

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You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. — John 8:32