I guess my mother must have seen this ad long ago – I’m thinking  the 1940’s – because she bought some Ovaltine back then as a pick-me-up. I liked it then though we kids were not supposed to drink it — it was for Mom’s health.  (Mom and Dad had five kids and weren’t into frivolous purchases.)   I’ve liked Ovaltine  ever since – the flavor, the handiness of it when you need a quick snack or a soothing hot drink.

The Ovaltine that is currently on the grocery shelves some 80 years later boasts a new recipe with no artificial sweeteners, no artificial colors,  and 16 vitamins and minerals. I’m sure that over the years the recipe has changed many times, in keeping with the thinking of the day. Probably a multivitamin and a glass of milk would make more nutritional and economic sense, but I cling to the old comfort food that is Ovaltine.

I don’t think I’ve ever done a tribute to a product before.   Who doesn’t want to wake up GAY and radiantly “alive”  in the morning?  I just wish they still had the classic chocolate favored Ovaltine WITH malt at my grocery store.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a paraprosdokian.
Winston Churchill loved them.

These came via email, without credit to the gatherer.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal ideas from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify,,,:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’

13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

15. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive more than one time.

17. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

18. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

19. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

20. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

21. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
target.

22. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

24. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

25. Where there’s a will, there are relatives.

This little one has her own song. She’s not one to go along to get along.

Seniors at the Clark Retirement Community lip-sync “Feeling Good.”

No, not curtains for me, at least not quite yet. When I saw my internist for my check-up a few days ago, he asked, “How have you been?” He got a kick out of  my response, “I see signs of continuing.” I thought, “I’d better write that down.”

The curtains of which I speak are my white fiberglass bathroom curtains that have been in place for perhaps twenty years, maybe thirty, I don’t know. We’ve been in this house for fifty years now and it seems they’ve always been there. I was sitting in the bathtub this morning and enjoying the glint of the sunshine on the curtains. At this point in February we have  topped the all time record for snow in Danbury, so any sunshine is much appreciated.   And sunshine glistens on fiberglass as it does on no other fabric.

What ever happened to fiberglass?  I don’t recall that clothing was made of it but I remember it as a drapery fabric.  Nowadays fiberglass fabric is for sale but it seems to be used mostly in ships.  I guess it doesn’t mildew; I wonder why it doesn’t break.   Anyhow I take my bathroom curtains down when they seem dusty and douse them in the bathtub after a bath, rinse, and rehang.   It’s all very easy and they look as good as they ever did.  And they glisten in the sunlight!

The curtains are very simple, one piece for the top half of each window, cafe-style, decorated at the bottom with two rows of fancy machine stitching, light blue and dark blue, to match the bathroom.  At this point I find it a challenge to even thread my sewing machine, it is so seldom used.  The machine attachments make zigzag decorative stitching very easy.

My fiberglass curtains have served me well and I’d do it just the same again.   I expect it will be curtains for me before my bathroom curtains finally retire.

Build a working printer with Legos and a felt tip pen? YES!!

There is much more to the world of Legos than I ever imagined. When I came across a reference to a man who made a printer out of Legos, I just had to see it.

You can see it, too.

These gems arrived in my email today, claiming they were “PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS.”   Somehow I got sucked in!

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was  Sir Cumference.   He acquired his size from too much  pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,  but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian..

She was only a whiskey maker, but he  loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated  from algebra  class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the  envelope, it’ll still  be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the  road and was  cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in  France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended  up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist  camp wall. The  police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies  like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet  organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack  in the hallway.   One hat said to the other:  ‘You stay here; I’ll go on  a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept  getting bigger. Then  it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab  center said: ‘Keep  off the Grass.’

The midget fortune-teller who escaped  from prison was  a small medium at large.

The soldier who survived mustard gas  and pepper spray  is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that  counts. In  feudalism it’s your count  that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of  religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in  Paris, you’d be in  Seine .

A vulture boards an airplane,  carrying two dead  raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m  sorry, sir, only one  carrion allowed per passenger..’

Two fish swim into a concrete  wall. One turns to the  other and says ‘Dam!’

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were  chilly, so they  lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank,  proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One  says, ‘I’ve lost my  electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m  positive.’

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain  during a root canal? His goal:  transcend dental  medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,  with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!

HT: JG

Explanations welcomed!

It is 2010 and different people come to Christmas from different viewpoints. Here are two “out of the box” looks at Christmas-time. First, suppose Jesus arrived in the Facebook era –

Here is a unique (concentrated) look at Christmas with Johnny and Chachi –

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT