We all know that  right-wingers are characterized by liberal writers as hateful, narrow minded, knuckle-dragging bigots whereas those on the left are loving, compassionate, and forgiving, accepting everyone as they are. It struck me as out of character, then, when I read the testimony of an ex-gay man and he reported that gays are  very accepting of all types of sexuality, whether it be homosexual, lesbian, transgender, cross-dressing, down-low, group sex, sadistic, voyeuristic – or any weird thing they can think of – but there’s one sexual variation they can’t tolerate. And that is they are not accepting of ex-gays!

There are many men out in this world who have had experimental sex with other men, who have been seduced by other men, who have found themselves sexually attracted to other men. Many gays seem to think that these experiences mean that they are dyed-in-the-wool homosexuals, forever and ever. If a man says he tried the gay scene for awhile and now he finds women more attractive, they just can’t accept that. Surely he is stifling his nascent homosexuality. It can’t be that he has grown out of it!

It seems to me so sad that adolescent loves cannot be recognized as just that. It is NORMAL for teenage girls to have girlfriends who they actually love and for young boys to have best buddies. Apparently if this stage lasts more than a day or two they are supposed to go to a class to think about their sexual orientation and decide whether they are homosexuals!! And they will be told that they are. How then does it happen that the vast majority of men in spite of a culture that tells them they might be gay at the age of 12 end up in a relationship with a woman? In fact, gays are so publicly present and insistent these days that boys and girls who are actually still children cannot enjoy their first loves without worrying that they may be queer.

At one time my best friend was a gay man, but no one wants advice from an straight old lady so I’ll refer wonderers to the experts. There’s Courage, where you can meet young Catholics who are trying to live up to their religion. There’s Exodus, a non-denominational organization where you can compare notes with others with “gender-confusion.” There’s PFOX (which stands for Parents and Friends Of X-gays and gays) which says:

Each year thousands of men, women and teens with unwanted same-sex attractions make the personal decision to leave homosexuality. However, there are those who refuse to respect that decision. Consequently, formerly gay persons are reviled simply because they dare to exist! Without PFOX, ex-gays would have no voice in a hostile environment.

Young men and women are just naturally immature, inexperienced, and uninformed. They often feel lost and alienated. There are others in the same boat. They do not need to be alone. They can, indeed, be loved and understood just as they are.

I have written before on the subject of homosexuality here and here.    To my mind, the gay refusal to accept the ex-gay status is because they know that being “straight” is the only thing that makes any biological sense. Throughout the vegetable and animal kingdoms the purpose of sex is obviously procreation.  It takes the intelligence of  human beings to imagine that they can separate sex from procreation and still be  natural and normal!   There is such a thing as natural and normal and gay sex isn’t it.   Same sex attraction may not be a matter of choice, but same sex action is. No one dies from lack of sex.

Dr. John Digg’s PDF on the health risks of homosexuality is here.

Rather than go on and on I’ll close with one little point made by my old friend, Dr. Herbert Ratner,  (which I’ve never seen written anyplace else).   Dr. Ratner said that humans are the only animals that mate face-to-face. Heterosexual sex is a “person-to-person” encounter. Lower animals are all rear-mounters.

Make of that what you will.


Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth. – Mohandas Gandhi

Once the sexual union is no longer seen to be by its very nature procreative, human sexuality is abused in ways that are profoundly harmful and in ways destructive of individuals and society itself. — Pope Paul VI