GLORY TO GOD! It is 4:30 AM on THE DAY! All my parts seem to be working. Computer has scanned and rebooted and tells me it is 65 wonderful degrees outside. After that tropical heat wave this is indeed a blessing. I actually slightly covered myself last night and had a good night’s sleep.

I’m one of those people who wake up hungry. Having leftover lobster ravioli for breakfast. Rejoicing in the presence of teeth. When I saw my dentist last week for a gum inflammation all I wanted was to keep my front teeth long enough to go to my birthday party yesterday. Nick’s is a wonderful Italian restaurant where we gather regularly to celebrate the birthdays of our pro-life group. What a blessing to be able to enjoy each other at a good meal! With teeth!

Coffee is now ready. Dawn is breaking, birds are chirping, God’s in his heaven, all’s right with the world. Let’s see what’s happening in cyberia.

E-mail: Several birthday greetings, including an animated card from Sister Betty Igo saying, among other things, WOW. YOU’RE OLD! And granddaughter Nikki, who shares my birthday, says, “Together we’re 111!” It’s hardly light outdoors and already it has been a wonderful day!

Facebook: Prayed the Divine Mercy marathon prayer. More birthday wishes and two people are waiting for me to take my turn at Scrabble. My profound thought for the morning is this: Consider the marvelous creation called a computer. I cannot begin to comprehend how mine works. It works wonders – I can play Scrabble with my grandson in Chicago on it. It brings information from outer space, diagnoses itself, heals itself, yet I know it was made by human beings and every once in a while human needs to fix it. No one imagines that a computer accidentally made itself! Now, consider the marvelous creation called a human being. What a biochemical accomplishment! It grows, reproduces, mends itself, thinks, even makes computers! How can anyone believe that a human being was the accidental result of chemicals bumping into each other? How can anyone not realize that a superior mind is behind it all? He says: Call on me. I made you and I love you.

On to Scrabble. I will lose one of the games, may win the other.

Time to consider getting dressed and ready for Mass. They like you to be clothed when you arrive. More about this great birthday later.

Our Indian priest gave a surprising homily about the devil who is alive and working in our society but no match for God and His people. Fits in nicely with the book by Father Euteneuer on Exorcism which I just started to read. (Be watchful and alert for your adversary the devil goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8)

More phone calls and more online wishes. Brother-in-law, Chuck, who is only 85, wants a picture of me which good friend Jon has promised to take. Leisurely afternoon reading and watching the end of the soccer game on TV (not that I really care). A little yard work, but too hot outside. We’ve had our first ripe tomato. The tomato harvest looks promising — it couldn’t possibly be worse than last year’s debacle. Potatoes are dying down. Will dig soon. Parsley and basil happy. Some critter is dining on my broccoli and leaving none for me. Rose of Sharon in full bloom and lovely. Hostas and petunias blooming.

Roses and lilies from Katy

Katy in Indiana sent me gorgeous flowers and I wanted to share their beauty. Alas, I am so inept at using my digital camera and transferring the photos to the computer that I don’t do it often. And, of course, because I don’t do it often, I am so inept! Anybody, absolutely anybody, could do better. But here is my offering — and thank you, Katy. Had a nice long talk with her yesterday; she is a joy.

Finished the day off with a little birthday party with Dan, Martha, and Nikki (who shares my birthday). We sang  “Happy Birthday to Us” and enjoyed brownies and ice cream with lots of whipped cream. Dan and Martha are not quite over their illness – hope it’s not catching! They gave me some great white sneakers which fit perfectly, called New Balance. I sure hope that New Balance thing works – I could use it.

How could I have forgotten?  The best birthday present ever!  As everyone  knows we have been praying at the Medical Options abortion “clinic” twice a week since 1988.   (See my posts here and here.)  This past week we learned they weren’t answering their own phone and their website was down!!!!  Oh happy day!  We did pray there on Saturday and the manager did come into the office but the abortionist never arrived.  Are they really gone?  Unfortunately there is yet another OB/GYN office in that building that does abortions so our job is not done.  But I have prayed to live to see the day that Medical Options closed.

It is 5 AM on the 12th, and a lovely 67 degrees outside. I think I fell asleep listening to David Wilkerson preach on the computer – not really sure, but had a good night’s sleep and woke up with all the parts still working. It was a good birthday and I am ever so grateful. Thank you everyone!  Thank you, God.

~~~

To thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day Thous canst not then be false to any man. — Polonius, in Hamlet

I don’t know what possessed me to go driving to the Stop & Shop yesterday at the noon hour. Usually I have the good sense to do my shopping after the 7 AM mass when the streets and stores are relatively empty. But I had been stressed out by last night’s outing and had a late morning nap and got it into my head that I’d see about those generic prescriptions available for only $9.99 at Stop & Shop. I had a new blood pressure medication script that needed to be filled and the time had come.

I only go to Stop & Shop every few months — it’s not my regular store — and the first indication that I was old was the sight of some pricing wands available at the entrance to the store. I gathered that you take these things with you as you shop, wave them over your purchases as you pick them out, and just present the wand and pay for the whole shebang at the check-out counter. Quick. Efficient. Easy. But my brain said, “No. Too complicated for today. Some other day when I feel more up to a challenge I’ll try it.” That’s not like me. Usually I’m eager for a new thing to try – a new experience – but not yesterday.

Then I went to the prescription counter for the first time. They needed information and of course my birth date was required. “This will be $9.99 he said. Ready in fifteen minutes.”  I had never wandered aimlessly in this store before but with 15 minutes to kill that’s what I started to do. There were aisles I had never been down. Organic foods I had never seen before. A salad bar which said “sampling is forbidden by law.” Couldn’t think of anything we really needed but bought some natural chicken (no antibiotics, fed an all vegetable diet, no growth stimulants or hormones), some Gorgonzola (a passion of mine), and some cranberry-raspberry juice. All I could think was that the store was just too big and had just too many choices and I couldn’t be bothered thinking and deciding about so many options. I felt I looked like what I was – an old lady wandering aimlessly around.

My sister’s home is just a short drive from Stop & Shop and early on I had thought of visiting her after shopping. But now I just wanted to get out of there and go home. I’d visit another day when I felt more up to it. Back to the prescription counter and the medication was ready. When, oh when, are they going to make those credit card scanners uniform so you don’t have to figure out each time which side of the card goes up? It seems that at every store they’re different. Anyway, I muddled through and the sad part of it is, I felt I was muddling through.

When it came time to check out my purchases, there were the usual “scan ‘em yourself” stations which I have used before with some success, but was certainly not ready for today. I passed about six of them looking for a nice open check-out station with a nice short line where the nice lady would scan my things for me and put them in my cart.

Some days I am up to a challenge. Some days I’m not. Yesterday I was old.

~~~

So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed every day.  For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison… – 2 Cor. 4:16, 17.

I know they are watching me. Call it paranoia if you wish, but I know they are watching. How do I know? Because I have been watching them.

It is quite likely that I am the oldest person among the 30-40 who attend morning mass at St. Joseph’s. There are several in their 80’s but I think I’m the oldest. A few years ago Bertha was the oldest but Bertha died at 88. Up until the end, she was a force to be reckoned with. I learned a lot from Bertha.

We watch each other because we know that sooner or later one of us is going to start failing. Anyone who reaches 86 has had some experience with loved ones failing and then dying. Mom and Dad, for starters. And, more recently, friends have left me behind. I watched as they underwent surgeries, falls, cancer, strokes. And died.

In the past week I’ve run into two women I hadn’t seen in perhaps 15-20 years. They came up to me and addressed me by name. I had no idea who they were. They said I hadn’t changed. (I know better–I have a mirror.) Once these women identified themselves, I could see they were right – they really were who they said they were. One had lost an amazing amount of weight; the other, always slim, seemed gaunt.

A week ago I went to a celebration of a friend’s fiftieth wedding anniversary. They are still a handsome couple, even in their 70’s. My profound observation as a result of my watching: Old people almost always walk funny. Most are round-shouldered, and seem cautious. They turn carefully and walk slowly. They tend to hold onto things. I know I am and do all of these things. In fact I have had to tell folks when I go places with them that they will have to slow down so I can keep up. Truly, it has come to this. I am reminded of a book by Eugene Geissler, The Best is Yet To Be: Life’s Meaning in the Aging Years, in which he describes the first time he went on an outing with his family and found he was not able to keep up the pace. Sooner or later, if we hang around long enough, we get to that place. Just a few nights ago I arrived early at a Seminar and tried to help arranging the chairs around the tables. I was worn out and short of breath in no time. Distressing.

I can think of only once exception. A lovely lady, just about my age, who stands straight and tall, and walks briskly. No flat shoes for her! She is always nicely coiffed and beautifully clothed. I am in awe and I ponder – is this the result of genes or lifestyle? I know it’s too late for me, but I’d like still to know.

One watcher says to me after mass, “How are ya, hon? You’re getting too skinny.” Which is exactly what I was thinking as I watched a man sitting up front. We are getting skinny together.

There’s a distinguished gentleman in a business suit whose story I’d like to know.  He often lights a votive candle before mass so I know he has a heart’s desire.   I add my prayer to his.

Not only do I watch the others, and they watch me, but I watch myself. Watching is something we old folks do well. Watch out.  We’re watching.

Or musing about watching.

~~~

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. — 2 Chronicles 16.9

It is now over a year since my first blogpost – and what a surprising ride it has been! I started blogging without ever having read a blog, without a clue about what a blog usually looks like. That explains why my blog has its own different look. My web designer, son Johnny, had as little blog experience though he does have a very useful website for small engine people.

It has gone in directions I could never have imagined. Who would think I would be so politically involved that I would head to my computer and immediately start writing ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS about how excited I was when Sarah Palin burst onto the scene. I read once that young voters tend to vote for their pocketbook and older ones are more interested in character. We old folks want to know that we are voting for a GOOD man (or woman) regardless of party or promises. We want to believe that a candidate will “do the right thing” according to his conscience. When Sarah Palin said she had a “servant’s heart” that rang true and she rang true. If I chance to find a real Christian it is my expectation that s/he will not lie, cheat, or steal, and any political mistakes will be honest ones. As soon as Obama reneged on his agreement with McCain to rely only on public funding he was off to a bad start with me. He out-spent McCain three to one and I agreed with the magazine cover that showed the White House with a big SOLD sign on it when he won the election. When Judicial Watch (good people to my mind) listed him among the ten most corrupt politicians in the country that boded ill. After all, he did rise to the top in a notably corrupt one-party system in Chicago. And things have gone down-hill ever since–or so I think.   Watch 100 days of Change ———-

I remember writing early on that blogging made me feel naked.  A blogger is so “out there” and vulnerable.    If you happen to think you’re smart enough so that your opinion might be of some value, the last thing you want to do is write something incredibly stupid. The more you write, the more likely that you will make a bad blunder. It might be better to say nothing at all than to take the chance of putting your foot in it.   How humbling that would be! On the other hand, maybe it’s good to get those “wrong” opinions out there so someone can put you straight. I’ve always said I love a good dialogue and a dialogue has to involve differing thoughts. Hopefully both sides will listen, and think, and perhaps arrive at something we can both agree on, with a ultimate increase in understanding.

Are there things I don’t blog about? Of course there are. When I finally start wearing Depends and I write about it (IF I write about it) you might say to yourself, isn’t there anything she keeps private? If someone does something nice, I can write about that. But suppose someone does something hurtful.  That is probably something to keep to myself. I probably shouldn’t even write about the wonderful, Godly way I’m dealing with it! So rest assured, everything is not being put out into cyberspace. Just because we old folks  have some faith and some perspective and are  cheerful overall doesn’t mean we don’t hurt sometimes.

I have very much enjoyed reading  other people’s blogs, especially those in my blogroll. I love the honesty that shines through these beautiful flawed persons.  When Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife who juggles “three kids, four blogs, a blog design business, and the laundry) got her new washer/dryer set (on pedestals) it was fun going through the agonizing, the shopping, the deciding, and seeing pictures of the final installation with a new paint job on the wall and the prospect of a “colorful rug” on the floor.   Bloggings provides a real insight into the nitty-gritty of other lives.   Provided, of course, you run into a truthful person.

Healthwise, with me, things are not much different. The walking is now slow enough for people to comment on it. The balance is obviously a little off. I’ve blogged about the dentures and the hearing aid and there’s no need to repeat. Weight is down a bit which I attribute to more fruits and vegetables. Mentally, I’ve really been enjoying playing Scrabble with online friends. On the other hand, the word-finding and name-recalling is worse than before. Yesterday, try as I would, I couldn’t remember the name of the stuff in my caulk gun. I knew everything about it, except it’s name. But if you came up with “silicone” I’d say “that’s it; why can’t I remember that?”  My mind is sharp enough to know that it’s not as sharp as it used to be.  Never a computer whiz, I seem to be more easily confused when it comes to uploading and embedding or doing anything beyond typing and editing. It has become clearer than to me than  ever that everything we have is a gift.  Our abilities, talents and our good looks are gifts.   We did not choose then, earn them, or deserve them.  They are not things to be proud of but rather grateful for.  Now you have them — now you don’t.

Why do I blog, why  am I still blogging? I originally wrote because I thought the experiences and thoughts of an old lady might be of interest and even of some help to those either living old or getting old.  I write also to spread the good news of Jesus Christ, Emmanuel, God-with-us, a historical person who started a church so old that its prelates wear funny clothes that date centuries back.  I lean a lot on him.   I write especially for my family thinking that I might set some things down before the Alzheimer’s sets in (one out of two over 85 gets it!) that will give them some clue as to who their progenitors were and what made them tick.

Yes, blogging makes me feel naked and vulnerable.   On the other hand, when one is aware of the sheer volume of what is “out there” one can feel very insignificant.  Why would anyone pay you (or me) any attention at all?   We come to realize that to the rest of the world we are about as important as a pebble on the beach.  We  are both afraid of being heard and afraid of not being heard.

Is there anything so intriguing about the title of this post that someone would bother to read it through to the end?   If anyone has, would you let me know?

~~~

The Lord giveth and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord. — Job 1:21

Morning has broken
Like the first morning,
Blackbird has spoken
Like the first bird.
Praise for the singing,
Praise for the morning,
Praise for them springing
Fresh from the Word.
———Eleanor Farjeon

It was still dark when I first looked out into the yard this morning.  The yard was white.  “Snow!”  I thought.   The forecast was for frost, not snow!    It turned out it was only white frost on the grass – and on my windshield.  I scraped but the glass was still not clear enough to drive so, for the first time this year, I filled a pitcher with hot water and poured it over the windshield.   Everyone tells me I could crack the glass with this wonderful method, but in 45 years not a windshield has cracked.   When we ran a motel way back then this tip was given to me by a truckdriver.   It works very nicely.  Try it — you’ll like it.

The first hard frost is a harbinger of winter.   It speaks of the inevitability of the march of time.  I recall a neighbor with ALS (amyotropic lateral sclerosis) sitting on the porch in his wheelchair telling me — this must have been about twenty years ago — that I moved like a young person.   He could barely move at all and was attuned to the way people moved. Time has taken its toll.  He is long gone. He should see me now.  The slowed steps, the cautious turns, unable to walk a straight line, reaching out to steady myself if there is something to hold onto.

Way back in the beginning when God was starting this whole shebang, He said to an angel:  “I just created a unit of time that will be half-light and half-dark and keep repeating itself over and over until the end of time.”
“Oh,” said the angel.  “That sounds wonderful.  What will you do next?”
And God answered: “I think I’ll call it a day.”

And the days dwindle down –  to a precious few – September,  November – and these few precious days I’ll spend with you.
——–Jimmy Durante

I think I’ll call it a day.  But first I must dig up my potatoes.   I pray they are not frosted beyond repair.

~~~

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day. Genesis 1:31